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May 20 2015


Can we just talk about what an actual relationship with Dorian would be like though?

I mean, this is a man who grew up in a country where relationships between men, if they happened at all, were done under the cover of night for physical pleasure only and never with the expectation of anything more, no matter how you actually felt about it. Like even the small things that most people would take for granted- kissing them on the cheek when you see them, holding hands as you walk, hugs, for crying out loud, even the I’m-so-glad-you’re-not-dead variety; they’re all most likely things he’d have conditioned himself not to expect or accept, not if he wanted the relationship to continue.

So I can’t see him being openly affectionate at all, at least at first.

Like the first few times the Inquisitor takes his hand in public, Dorian reflexively snatching it away as fast as he can with a hissed ‘What are you doing?’ and desperately checking to see if someone saw?

Dorian having to remind himself constantly that he can relax, it’s alright, nobodies going to care, when the Inquisitor drapes himself across his lap in the library, head tucked against his collarbone and breath gentle in his ear.

Dorian not knowing if he’s allowed to tell people- the Inquisitor said he wanted ‘more’ but what does that mean? How much is more? Varric asks, grinning about ‘vital research for a new novel’,and he panics, starts babbling about ridiculous rumors and where-did-you-get-such-an-idea till Varric hauls him out to the tavern just to get him to stop.

When it finally gets out that they’re together the only reason he leaves his room is because his pride demands it. For weeks he waits for the Inquisitor to tell him it’s over, that he’s sorry but their allies are threatening to withdraw their support and he needs them too much, but it never comes. When he suggests it, the Inquisitor stares at him for a long time, before pulling him into a hug so tight he can feel himself shaking.

How proud he’d feel when, fingers trembling and heart pounding in his ears, he made himself to kiss the Inquisitor goodbye in full view of anyone wandering past, walking away light headed with victory.

Dorian Pavus slowly realizing that he can be with the man he loves in public, and that no-one who matters is going to care.

Reposted fromcatchingadri catchingadri

a psa about dorian pavus






my followers and i been talking about this for a while now but here it is, my formal psa for the dragon age fandom: this shit is offensive. 

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May 16 2015

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To, że kogoś potrzebujemy, zaczyna nas niszczyć. 
— Tess Gerritsen
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W płaczu najsmutniejsze jest to, że jedyną osobą, do której chcielibyśmy się przytulić jest ta, przez którą płaczemy.

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najbardziej boisz się, że tak już zostanie. że nigdy nikt, nic. że to już się stało. że tak zostało zaprojektowane. że to po prostu cię nie dotyczy. każdego, ale nie ciebie. ~a.

November 18 2014

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November 13 2014

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October 29 2014

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